jan 302010
 

Oh My God, how patient this GeekDad, writing for the website Wired, is. He had time to select a 100 quotes every geek should know. I know it’s a lot. And damn it, I’m a geek. I know most of them. Some are still missing though, like : « I love you too and you’re going to get crushed! » – Chunk, The Goonies.

How many do you know ?

  1. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.” — Dennis the Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  2. “Three rings for the Elven kings under the sky, seven for the Dwarf lords in their halls of stone, nine for the mortal men doomed to die, one for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, in the land of Mordor where the shadows lie. One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring the bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.” -LOTR
  3. “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.” – HAL, 2001: A Space Odyssey
  4. “Spock. This child is about to wipe out every living thing on Earth. Now, what do you suggest we do….spank it?” — Dr. McCoy, Star Trek: The Motion Picture
  5. “With great power there must also come — great responsibility.”  – Amazing Fantasy #15 (August 1962)
  6. “If you can’t take a little bloody nose, maybe you oughtta go back home and crawl under your bed. It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it’s not for the timid.” — Q, Star Trek: The Next Generation “Q Who?”
  7. “Five card stud, nothing wild. And the sky’s the limit” — Captain Jean Luc Picard, uttering the last line of the series, Star Trek: The Next Generation “All Good Things…”
  8. “If you think that by threatening me you can get me to do what you want… Well, that’s where you’re right. But – and I am only saying that because I care – there’s a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing.” – Chris Knight, Real Genius
  9. “We’re all very different people. We’re not Watusi. We’re not Spartans. We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog.” – John Winger, Stripes
  10. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” – Ace Ventura, Ace ventura, Pet Detective
  11. “I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.” – Ty Webb, Caddyshack
  12. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE – God (Douglas Adams), So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
  13. “Some days, you just can’t get rid of a bomb!” – Adam West, Batman & Robin
  14. “Bill, strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” – Ted, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
  15. “Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.” – Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
  16. “Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There’s some spooky shit goin’ on there. And it’s green too.” – Slater, Dazed and Confused
  17. “Alright, alright alright.” – Wooderson, Dazed and Confused
  18. “Heya, Tom’, it’s Bob from the office down the hall. Good to see you, buddy; how’ve you been? Things have been alright for me except that I’m a zombie now. I really wish you’d let us in.” Jonothan Coulton, Re: Your Brains
  19. “Never argue with the data.” – Sheen, Jimmy Neutron
  20. “Oooh right, it’s actually quite a funny story once you get past all the tragic elements and the over-riding sense of doom.” – Duckman (Jason Alexander)
  21. “Fantastic!” – The Doctor (Christopher Eccleston), Doctor Who
  22. “I must not fear. / Fear is the mind-killer. / Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. / I will face my fear. / I will permit it to pass over me and through me. / And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. / Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. / Only I will remain.” – Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune
  23. “This is the way society functions. Aren’t you a part of society?” – Kramer, Seinfeld
  24. “Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn… call the president.” – Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China
  25. “No matter where you go, there you are. ” – Buckaroo Banzai, Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension
  26. “Do you know of the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space.” -Khan, ST:TWOK
  27. “Ray, if someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!” – Winston, Ghostbusters
  28. “Greetings, programs!” -Flynn, TRON
  29. “I guess you picked the wrong god-damned rec room to break into, didn’t you?!” -Burt, Tremors
  30. “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” -Darth Vader, Star Wars
  31. “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side, kid.” -Han Solo, Star Wars
  32. “Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back
  33. “It’s a moral imperative.” – Chris Knight, Real Genuis
  34. “Talk with your mouth full / bite the hand that feeds you / bite off more than you can chew / dare to be stupid” – Weird AL “dare to be stupid.”
  35. “Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.” – Egon, Ghostbusters
  36. “This episode was BADLY written!” -Gwen, Galaxy Quest
  37. “Worst. Episode. Ever.” – Comic Book Guy, The Simpsons
  38. “Goonies never say die.” -Mike, The Goonies
  39. “Nothing shocks me–I’m a scientist.” – Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
  40. “Bright light! Bright light!” – Gremlins
  41. “The Road goes ever on and on/Down from the door where it began/Now far ahead the Road has gone/And I must follow, if I can/Pursuing it with eager feet/Until it joins some larger way/Where many paths and errands meet/And whither then? I cannot say.” – J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings
  42. “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!” – Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters
  43. “If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?” – Albert Einstein
  44. “Wait a minute, Doc. Ah… Are you telling me you built a time machine… out of a DeLorean?” – Marty McFly, Back to the Future
  45. “Don’t call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight blob of grease!” – C3PO, Star Wars
  46. “I’d just as soon kiss a wookiee!” – Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
  47. “But one thing’s sure: Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody’s responsible.” – Detective, Plan 9 from Outer Space
  48. “I know kung fu.” – Neo, The Matrix
  49. “This is your receipt for your husband… and this is my receipt for your receipt.” – Officer, Brazil
  50. “Your soul-suckin’ days are over, amigo!” – Elvis, Bubba Ho-Tep
  51. “I don’t believe there’s a power in the ‘verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct-tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.” – Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly (episode: “Serenity” (pilot))
  52. “Would you say I have a plethora of piñatas?” – El Guapo, ¡Three Amigos!
  53. “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!” Vizzini, The Princess Bride
  54. “There is no Earthly way of knowing… which direction we are going. There is no knowing where we’re rowing, or which way the river’s flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a’blowing? Not a speck of light is showing so the danger much be growing. Are the fires of hell a’glowing? Is the grisley reaper mowing? YES! The danger must be growing for the rowers keep on rowing AND THEY’RE CERTAINLY NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!” – Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
  55. “Time…to die.” – Roy Batty, Blade Runner
  56. “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds” J. Robert Oppenheimer
  57. “Check, please.” – Lone Starr & Barf, Spaceballs
  58. “So say we all.” – Battlestar Galactica
  59. “After very careful consideration, sir, I’ve come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks.” – General Beringer, WarGames.
  60. “I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar.” – Wash, Serenity
  61. “No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for.” – Young Frankenstein
  62. “Ahh, a bear in his natural habitat: a Studebaker.” Fozzie, The Muppet Movie
  63. “He’s dead, Jim.” McCoy, ST:TOS
  64. “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint – it’s delicious!” – Kramer, Seinfeld
  65. “Bring out your dead.” Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  66. “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!” -Inigo, The Princess Bride
  67. “Why a duck? Why-a no chicken?” – Chico Marx, Cocoanuts
  68. “Redrum.” Danny, The Shining
  69. “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.” – announcer, The Shadow radio drama
  70. “We’re going to need a bigger boat.” – Chief Brody, Jaws
  71. “Oooh, ahhh, that’s how it always starts. Then later there’s running and screaming.” – Ian Malcolm, The Lost World: Jurassic Park
  72. “Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.” Criswell, Plan 9 from Outer Space
  73. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!” – President Merkin Muffley, Dr. Strangelove
  74. “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” – Obi-Wan, Star Wars
  75. “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” – Taylor, Planet of the Apes
  76. “You maniacs! You blew it up! Oh, damn you! Damn you all to hell!” – Taylor, Planet of the Apes
  77. “Klaatu barada nikto.” The Day the Earth Stood Still
  78. “Monsters from the Id.” – Doc Ostrow, Forbidden Planet
  79. “ET phone home.” – ET
  80. “What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?” – Bridgekeeper, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  81. “We thought you was a toad!” – Delmar, O Brother Where Art Thou?
  82. “Face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot!”–Mary Jane, Spider-Man.
  83. “You don’t have to be a gun.”-Hogarth, The Iron Giant.
  84. “Danger Will Robinson! Danger!” – Robbie the Robot, Lost in Space
  85. “Yeah, well. The Dude abides.” – The Dude, The Big Lebowski
  86. “All things serve the beam.” various instances, The Dark Tower series
  87. “You can’t fool me! There ain’t no Sanity Clause!” – Chico Marx, A Night at the Opera
  88. “Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love – they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.” – Harry Lime, The Third Man
  89. “And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…” – Milton Waddams, Office Space
  90. “Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.” – Peter Gibbons, Office Space
  91. “Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.” – John McClane (in writing), Die Hard
  92. “Gimme some sugar, baby.” – Ash, Army of Darkness
  93. “Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I’ve got news for you pal, you ain’t leadin’ but two things, right now: Jack and sh*t… and Jack left town.” – Ash, Army of Darkness
  94. “Kneel before Zod.” – Zod, Superman II
  95. “Shall we play a game?” – Joshua, WarGames
  96. “Daddy would have gotten us Uzis.” – Samantha, Night of the Comet
  97. “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.” “Hit it!” – Elwood, The Blues Brothers
  98. “Make it so” / “Engage” – Captain Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation
  99. “Ya Ta!” – Hiro Nakamura, Heroes
  100. “End Of Line” – The MCP, TRON

[GeekDad]

sheldon-cooper-big-bang-theory

I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly

jan 022010
 

Voici certainement un des premiers mèmes de l’histoire, puisqu’il date d’avant Internet. Ce mème était au départ une private joke  réservée aux bruiteurs de son qui travaillaient pour le cinéma.  Ce mème s’appelle Wilhelm Scream ou cri de Wilhelm. Voici ce qu’en dit Wikipedia en français et en anglais :

Le cri Wilhelm, ou Wilhelm scream, est un effet sonore utilisé comme clin d’œil sonore dans de nombreux films. À l’origine, il s’agit d’un cri poussé par l’acteur Sheb Wooley en 1951 dans le film Les Aventures du capitaine Wyatt. Son utilisation s’est aujourd’hui répandue à d’autres média comme la télévision et les jeux vidéo. [Wikipedia]

The Wilhelm scream is a frequently-used film and television stock sound effect first used in

1951 for the film Distant Drums. The effect gained new popularity (its use often becoming an in-joke) after it was used in Star Wars and many other blockbuster films as well as television programs and video games. The scream is often used when someone is either falling to his death from great height or from an explosion.

The Wilhelm scream has become a well-known cinematic sound cliché, and is claimed to have been used in over 149 films and counting.

The sound is named for Private Wilhelm, a character in The Charge at Feather River, a 1953 western where the character is shot with an arrow. This was believed to be the second movie to use the sound effect and its first use from the Warner Brothers stock sound library. [Wikipedia]

Edit : thanks to Ilmmad, a redditer, here are the scenes that SHOULD have the Wilhelm scream :

star-wars-wihelm-screm-cri

You can download, use and abuse the Wilhelm Scream here on the [Internet Archive]

[IMDB]

[HollywoodLostandFound

[TheMadMusicArchive]

Le cri Wilhelm, ou Wilhelm scream, est un effet sonore utilisé comme clin d’œil sonore dans de nombreux films. À l’origine, il s’agit d’un cri poussé par l’acteur Sheb Wooley en 1951 dans le film Les Aventures du capitaine Wyatt. Son utilisation s’est aujourd’hui répandue à d’autres média comme la télévision et les jeux vidéo.

déc 192009
 

Ever wish songs actually sang about what was happening in the music video? Well now they do! Literal music videos are real music videos where lyrics are changed to describe the video. I know, this is tricky but when it is well-done, it is really funny.

So above, you can see one that is not so funny but Jingle Rocks is « of season ». What’s wrong with it is we do not know the original video in the  first place and after watching it, we already think this video was funny in itself, there was no point in changing the lyrics.

No, my favourite video is certainly Take on Me by A-Ha. This is the first one I’ve watched, and each time since, it makes me smile.


Total eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler. Absolutely amazing and gorgeous.

Head over Hells by Tears for Fears

Sorry guys, I didn’t find any good literal music videos in French.If you know some, please feel free to post them in comments.

Désolé, mais je n’ai pas trouvé de bons clips en version littéral en français. Il y a un créneau à prendre. Par contre si vous en connaissez, faites-vous plaisir, et n’hésitez pas à laisser les liens en commentaire. Pour info, le maitre des versions littérales s’appelle : DAScottjr

Boni-tyler-literal-version

mullet-tears-fears-literal-music-video

literal-music-video

déc 102009
 

Money_faces_art_20

Je regrette cette époque où il y avait des visages sur les billets. Ne vous méprenez pas, je ne suis pas nostalgique d’une époque où Pascal était plus sexy qu’un pont européen imaginaire. Je regrette juste le fait qu’il n’y ait pas de visage sur les billets européens. D’ailleurs, je pense qu’il n’y en aura jamais, car personne ne pourrait justifier au sein de l’Union, qu’un grand écrivain français ou un portugais ait une valeur faciale supérieure à celle d’un allemand ou d’un italien. C’est indéfendable et l’Union souhaitant afficher un visage de circonstance, donc égalitaire, proposera un autre monument imaginaire symbole de l’harmonie.

Comme il n’est pas interdit de rêver, si un jour il y a des visages européens, moi aussi, je m’amuserais comme le reste du monde à superposer les billets sur les visages de mes amis. Oui, le monde entier joue à ce jeu, c’est très 2009, comme tendance. Et pour faire bonne figure, je me prendrais aussi au jeu en associant à mon royal profil celui d’un puissant immortalisé sur de la monnaie.

Money_faces_art_2

Money_faces_art_4

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Money_faces_art_9

Money_faces_art_10

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Money_faces_art_25

Folded Bank Notes held in front of people can be surprisingly natural.

[IntenseZone] via [BBB]

nov 262009
 

My first video ! I hope you like it. It all started with an animated .Gif I’ve found on Reddit, (you can see it below). So, after a good laugh and after watching it a few times, I eventually imagined it was made from a real video. After a few clicks on Youtube, I found the original video, but it wasn’t really interesting : too long, no music. So I decided to edit it a bit. I’ve cut the longest parts, and added the tune of Keyboard Cat of Charlie Schmidt you should  already know by now. And here is the result ! Too bad, we can’t loop videos.

qkDqh

Voici ma première vidéo. Comme je l’explique plus haut. J’ai trouvé ce gif animé voir juste au-dessus. Je l’ai tellement aimé que j’ai cherché la vidéo avec laquelle ce gif a été réalisé. Après quelques recherches, je l’ai finalement trouvé. Hélas, la vidéo originale est ennuyeuse. Elle est bien trop longue et sans musique. Du coup, je me suis lancé pour améliorer la chose. J’ai coupé les parties ennuyeuses et ajouté un peu de son… Vous reconnaitrez la musique du Keyboard Cat de Charlie Schmidt dont j’ai déjà parlé.  J’espère que vous aimez le résultat.

the-fuck-was-that-cat-video

nov 022009
 

pat_boone_tim_howat_spencer

Transformez-vous en vinyl ! Prenez un vieux disque 33 tours avec un portrait en pochette, placez cette pochette à bonne distance et grâce à la perspective, créez une illusion. Le principe est simple, ludique, étonnant. La seule difficulté réside dans le raccord entre la pochette et votre corps et le bon cadrage de la photo. Avec un tel principe tous les éléments sont réunis pour créer une tendance ou une mode qui marche. C’est d’ailleurs le cas, puisque le sleevefacing a fait des émules : un livre de photos est déjà en vente sur Amazon. Finalement, ces disques ont plus de 33 tours dans leur sac.

The principle of  Sleeveface is quite simple. Find a LP with a portrait. Place it in order to create the illusion the face is yours. Shoot a picture and post it on the web. Today, this kind of experiment is working so well that they even made a book about it. It’s called Sleeveface, be the Vinyl. You see, you can still make money with your old records.

burl_ives_brad_keen_sam_ryan

cristiano_alberti_lobao

fdj_peter_gabriel

ricky_martin_jesus_rios

[Sleeveface]

oct 282009
 

Matt Mulholland is a singer and he likes YouTube. In this music video he is performing the Ghost Busters theme in 14 part harmony. I like that kind of performance, especially when the performance has all the components to become a mème. I know. As soon as someone tries really hard to make himself famous, I can’t help it, and I write about it. But I like the effort.

And now a song about penis…

[Matt Mulholland]

oct 232009
 

I know, this song is old, this music vid has been online for a while and blah blah blah. Yes, but I had forgotten about it. And when I fell on it again during my watch on the Web, I said to myself : « What a wonderful vid ».

They have incorporated all the Youtube celebrities, popular faces and memes in one of the happiest mash-up of last year.  (Please, don’t tell me it was the year before, I’m feeling old today). And you may recognize some of them, but can you recognize all of them ? If you think you have a solid mème culture, watch the video above first, then go on…If you don’t, watch the videos below first, then go back up to appreciate.

They invited some of the greatest Youtube celebrities to join in the vid and the results is really funny. Some tried to spot all the memes and celebrities that are in the Pork and Beans music vid. And yes, you did think : « oh yes, I’ve watched this one, I remember. »

  • Here are some easy ones, you might have watched :

Numa Numa Guy

Dramatic Look

Afro Ninja (Why do you want to go on  after your faceplant ?)


Leave Britney Alone

Miss Teen USA (with subtiles)


Star Wars Kid


Evolution of Dance


Chocolate Rain (I’m always in apnea when I watch it)


Daft Hands


Daft Bodies


Sneezing Panda


Diet Coke and Mentos

  • Less easy, but you may have watched them, otherwise it wouldn’t be a mème..

T-Shirt World Record


Ryan vs. Dorkman

One Man Band (it’s so good to watch it again)


Crank That Soldier Boy


K-Fed’s PopoZao


Ask a Ninja


Peanut Butter Jelly Time (one of the oldest meme of the vid)


Will It Blend?

One-handed Rubik’s Cube


Charlie The Unicorn


Kelly Likes Shoes


All Your Base Are Belong To Us


GI Joe PSA


And some of you who are good at this might say :

« Hey Président du Web, you’ve forgotten the Barenaked Ladies! They made a music video where they invited all the most famous Internet Mèmes one year before those f** Weezer copy cats thieves. »

Yes, I know, their song was even called Sound of your voice,  and here is the video :

If I have forgotten a mème for the Weezer music video Pork and Beans video list of mèmes, please add it in the comments.

And, by the way, where the hell is Matt ?